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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201020">Choices</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Amazon/pseuds/Lily_Amazon'>Lily_Amazon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Bullying, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Past Child Abuse, True Love, With a Dash of Smut, You Have Been Warned, this is so sweet and self-indulgent you'll get dental cavities</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Amazon/pseuds/Lily_Amazon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Ace should have said no.<br/><em>“I let it get to me. It messed with my head. Still is…"</em><br/><br/>Or when your work accidentally triggers unpleasant memories.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco/Portgas D. Ace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Choices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Where do you think you’re running, you rat?” A slender red-haired boy spats as another blond one slams a breathless third into the lockers of a high-school deserted corridor. A metallic bang is heard along with a moan.</p><p>“You forgot to pay your taxes this morning, scumboy.” A vicious grip is to the victim’s throat.</p><p>“I’ve got nothing for you,” the dark-haired teen answers with a glare.</p><p>“How disappointing but what can I say? You can’t even afford a spare uniform. Look at you, poor orphan slob.” A pair of goggles shines in ginger hair.</p><p>A swift kick between the legs of the blond teen and he’s free, already scurrying away towards the nearby exit.</p><p>“You’ll pay one day or another Jeremy! Only losers have debts!” The voice is loud behind him but he doesn’t stop running.</p><p>“And scene! Perfect, guys. That’s a wrap! See you all tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Ace took a deep breath as the lights on set brightened. He smiled back at Kidd and Killer before stepping off the set to Shank’s chair.</p><p>Shanks Red was the director to a new super-hero movie Ace was the leading part of. He was Fire Fist, a teenager caught in some shady business. A history of revenge and redemption, with lots of explosions and some cute girl involved. Not that Ace really cared about that.</p><p>They had been shooting for several months already, both in the studios and outdoors, but they would have to work a few more weeks before hearing the final “That’s a wrap.” It was his first major role and Ace intended to make the most of it before the end.</p><p>“That was good Ace!” the man greeted him, taking his eyes off the screen, headset around his neck. Benn was by his side, taking notes, reviewing the storyboard.</p><p>“Hope so, it was the sixth take...”</p><p>“Yeah, shit happens,” Shanks said with a goofy grin. “We’ll start with the car scene tomorrow, yeah?”</p><p>“Great. I’ll go home then.”</p><p>“Yeah, good night!”</p><p>“You too.” And with a small wave, Ace exited the set to the parking lot and the refitted truck that was his dressing room.</p><p>Closing the door behind him, he sighed and hurried to unbutton his shirt. This school uniform was a bit too tight for his liking. Bartolomeo’s make-up team had made wonders though. He looked so much younger!</p><p>He plopped down on the seat facing a Hollywood-style mirror and started removing his make-up. Freckles appeared along small shadows under his eyes. It had been a tough day, he thought. Going full steam for an action scene this morning and retaking the childhood and bullying scenes the whole afternoon. He felt drained and… off? He knew from a look in the mirror that the button up shirt was gone yet he still felt all bundled up.</p><p>Deeply breathing once more, he stretched before noticing a tray with an awaiting glass. There were some snacks too. He mentally praised Thatch and his catering team’s thoughtfulness.</p><p>Tray aside, his desk was rather empty except for two copies of the screenplay. ‘Fire Fist: Through Darkness’ said the front cover in bold capital letters. On top of them sat his orange cowboy hat. A four-leaf clover was tucked in the bottom left corner of the mirror. You could see sloppy glue marks but he didn’t care. It was a present from Luffy, it was a lucky charm in itself. There also was a picture of him with the Newgate family they took on Marco’s thirty-fifth birthday. They would all be smiling at the camera lens if it wasn’t for Thatch and Haruta firing confetti canons.</p><p>Ace chuckled at the memories and the tightness in his chest eased. Shaking himself he stood, discarding his clothing carelessly before reaching for his wardrobe. No doubt Inazuma and Chiffon would come later on to check on everything, the pair of awesome costume designers they were.</p><p>Perona’s outfits were there too, since they shared the hair and make-up facilities, but he quickly found his red hoodie and black cargo pants. Slipping them on, he reached for his car’s keys and sunglasses in his back pocket and exited his dressing room.</p><p>The sun was setting but the air was still heavy. Los Angeles and its Mediterranean climate. Good thing the studios were air-conditioned, though the difference in temperature was often unpleasant at the end of a workday. But Ace sure wouldn’t trade it for winters in Montana. Home Shit Home.</p><p>He shook his head, trying to block the conjured memories, and bumped into someone. He instinctively steadied an elbow while apologizing. Green jacket, white scarf. Haruta, hands full of take-out coffee and pastries.</p><p>“You okay, Ace? You look pale,” the man asked, with a small smile but brows furrowed.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with a gentle clasp on his shoulder, Ace resumed his walk to the parking lot.</p><p>“Say hi to Marco for me.”</p><p>“I will!” He waved without turning back.</p><p>Striker was waiting in the spot he parked her in this morning. A black 1970 Chevy Chevelle. The flames painted on the car fenders were gleaming in the sunset light. Gorgeous, really.</p><p>The driver seat welcomed him with ease and he unhooked his red beaded necklace from the rear-view mirror. Another tradition. He felt them roll between his fingers and tried to slow his heartbeat. Twenty-two beads. One for each birthday, courtesy of Dadan. Her mail was never late.</p><p>He remembered laughs and races in the snow after school, to let off some steam, to leave everything behind. Freezing toes and wet wood creaking in the hearth, a bowl of hot chocolate for three. Happy and sad. Enough and lacking in so many (wrong) ways.</p><p>He sighed and put his necklace on.</p><p>The motor hummed at the first turn of key and Ace exited the parking lot. He nodded to Katakuri and Smoker on his way out of the studios. The perks of being a small production. He even knew the security staff.</p><p>The traffic was heavy and he sighed, his twenty minutes ride had just doubled. He took as many residential streets as he could, avoiding the more crowded avenues until he had no other choice but to join the traffic jam.</p><p>His gaze wandered on the cars nearby and a van caught his eye in the rear-view mirror. The driver’s face was familiar. Something cold dropped in his stomach. He remembered screams and races in the mud, to avoid being hurt, to escape another nightmare. His palms grew sweaty on the wheel and he gripped tighter until the traffic resumed. He turned and parked at the first occasion, surveying the passing cars to make sure nobody had followed him.</p><p>It took him several minutes to acknowledge he wasn’t in Montana anymore. Nor the same scared child he once was.<br/>
Scarred but undefeated. Years of therapy had taught him that.</p><p>Starting Striker anew, he headed for the Baratie. Sanji’s restaurant had become really popular lately, mostly due to the new culinary show the Chef was hosting. But Ace had his VIP card and didn’t even have to wait before ordering a take-away pizza. His usual after a trying day. An extra-large All Blue, known to have every kind of meat possible. That thing was a tasty monster. And it brought a small smile to his lips. Marco hated it. The man swore only by the Hawaiian…</p><p>Sanji was here and he pushed through small talk, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, until his order was ready. He waved goodbye and drove home.</p><p>He was waiting at a red light when he saw children running and laughing on the sidewalk. He blinked and they were gone. Turning the corner or vanishing into thin air he couldn’t tell. Someone honked and he moved forward.</p><p>His block was in sight at last and he parked before climbing the stairs to his flat. Opening and closing the door, balancing the pizza in one hand until he discarded it on the kitchen counter, he couldn’t hear anything but his own heartbeats.</p><p>“Good evening,” Marco greeted him from the couch, white coat folded on the armrest. He often forgot to leave it at work. And as Ace turned to face him, something rushed inside him. Warm and devastating.</p><p>He closed the distance and all but climbed in his partner’s lap, catching his lips in a searing kiss. It wasn’t long before it evolved into a full make-out session as he removed hoodie and necklace and all but ripped Marco’s shirt open. He was tugging on his pants when hands stopped him and a voice finally registered.</p><p>“–ce… Ace. Ace! What happened? You’re shaking.” He looked down and realized Marco’s was right, his fingers were trembling and he knew it had nothing to do with excitement. Ace was rarely initiating anything and <em>never</em> excited. Not like that anyway.</p><p>He opened his mouth and closed it several times, trying to explain but nothing came out.</p><p>A hand was on his face, forcing him to meet blue worried eyes. He freed himself from the scrutiny by resting his forehead on his lover’s shoulder. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.”</p><p>“Ace…”</p><p>He took a deep breath. “Just… Just give me a minute.”</p><p>Marco had the courtesy to count to sixty before speaking again. “Tell me, love.”</p><p>A sigh. “It’s my fault. I read the script. I should have known…”</p><p>He sat on the couch, next to Marco, head hung low, looking at his hands fiddling with his pants fabric.</p><p>“We shot all the childhood scenes this afternoon. It got pretty intense and… We had to restart the bullying scene six times.” He took a shaky breath. “I let it get to me. It messed with my head. Still is…” He closed his eyes, keeping the tears at bay.</p><p>He felt Marco’s hand reaching for his own. “Things are coming back to me. I even thought I saw one of <em>them </em>following me on my way back home… It’s… I… I can’t breathe!”</p><p>He opened his eyes only to see everything blurred and he gasped for air. Hands were to his face and he tried to focus, to hold onto something, anything. His fingers reached for Marco’s wrists and felt for his pulse, always steady.</p><p>Marco waited until Ace looked calmer before hugging him and whispering sweet nothings in his hair.</p><p>Child neglect, child abuse, bullying, depression… Not to mention repressing his sexual orientation for fear of rejection. The list seemed endless sometimes. The times Ace only felt like damaged goods were rarer and rarer now though. But it always came crashing, unannounced.</p><p>But they were solid. They had been through thick and thin together, faced a thousand storms and emerged stronger. This was nothing new and wouldn’t be different from every other time the past caught up to one of them.</p><p>They were solid. Had been for years, thanks to Thatch and Izo’s meddling. And despite what Marco could have feared, age hadn’t been an issue. But Ace’s own asexuality... They had had so many long talks, negotiating this relationship. Marco had discovered Ace needed reassurances and understanding what consent truly meant for him. And he found out just how often Ace had bargained his away, for the sake of appearances or out of love even. But he hadn’t wanted that for their couple. And they were good now. More than good. Except when his boyfriend threw himself at him for the wrong kind of reasons. In his right mind Ace would never do that.</p><p>He felt his tense form against his own body, the laboured breath rising against his chest. He cupped his face once more, peering into his grey eyes. He couldn’t let the helplessness settle any longer. “What can I do?”</p><p>Ace’s face scrunched up in pain as tears flowed down his cheeks. “Love me.”</p><p>He didn’t voice the sadness that crushed his heart, didn’t show the pain he felt at seeing his love hurting so badly. Instead he kissed and praised and hugged endlessly. And told him, how loved and precious and talented and important he was, how he brightened his life Every Single Day, how proud he was of his strength and trust, how it would all pass but that it was okay because he was here anyway and he had his back, always. Always, always, always. Until Ace had no tears left to cry. Until he finally hugged back and thanked and apologized, even though he didn’t need to. Another ingrained obligation resurfacing. <em>Apologize for the pain you feel.</em></p><p>Marco imagined what he would do to all these bastards if he ever crossed their path. Hippocrates be damned.</p><p>It took at least an hour before he got him fully back. Calmed breath and heartbeat, exhausted and red eyes but he stirred and smiled before getting up to drink some water. He sat by Marco’s side, close but not invasive. Marco brushed dark hair out of his face and he leaned against his palm.</p><p>“Do you want me to call Shanks?” he asked, smartphone within his reach. “You shouldn’t go tomorrow.”</p><p>Ace shook his head. “No, it’s fine. We only have action and harmless scenes left. I don’t want to delay things… But I’ll tell him. I should have tapped out sooner when it started to feel… Too much. It was stupid to push through…” He drew his knees up his chest and rested his chin, pensive. The room was quiet and Marco heard a neighbour vacuuming. Life went on.</p><p>“When’s your next appointment with Law?”</p><p>“Two months but I’ll call him tomorrow. See if he can squeeze me in his ever-busy schedule.”</p><p>“Oh he will, yoi.” Marco smiled. His friend and esteemed colleague had always had a soft spot for his partner. Purely professional, of course.</p><p>Ace nodded and leaned to kiss him. “Do you mind if we move to the bed for a while?”</p>
<hr/><p>Ace settled against his bare chest. Skin against skin. It soothed them both.</p><p>“Thanks, Marco.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“Everything.”</p><p>He hummed, kissing the crown of his head. And they just shared silence and security like they shared everything else. Hugging, touching, caressing, feeling… Drawing their strength from each other. They didn’t fall asleep, only felt time tick by, unbothered. Connected vessels finally sailing on calmer seas.</p><p>Ace groaned.</p><p>“What is it, yoi?”</p><p>“I’m hard.”</p><p>A chuckle in his ear. A hand caressing his abs and slowly inching down. Ace tensed and stopped Marco’s descent.</p><p>“I… I’m not in the mood for… Can’t reciprocate today.”</p><p>A kiss to his neck as a hand rested back to his belly. “Alright.”</p><p>The bedroom was quiet, save for their measured breaths and Ace’s uncomfortable fidgeting every so often. He finally let out an annoyed huff. “Sorry… I’ll just go to the bathroom and deal with it.”</p><p>He sat, feet already brushing the soft bedside rug. His skin prickled with the residual heat of ghost touches. Marco’s hand was to his hip. He kissed one shoulder and then the other. No jealousy.</p><p>“Or I could give you a literal hand.” It wouldn’t be a first. <em>But it might be the last</em>, the tiny insecure part of his brain always whispered to him. <em>How long? How long until he gets bored? Until he finds someone better? Someone fully functional. </em></p><p>“No, Marco. You don’t have to. I won’t be able to…” <em>Give you anything back</em>. A hand was in his hair, gently turning his head, and he looked into his partner’s eyes, unable to hide his shame.</p><p>“It’s okay, Ace.” A thumb brushed a red cheek and lured him back in bed, embraced him with the ease of habit, cherished him like the treasure he so often forgot he was.</p><p>A loving hand was already in his pants, blue eyes looking at him, into him. He hid his own behind an arm. “It’s not fair…” <em>That I am the one you’re pleasing. That you’re looking at me like that. Like it doesn’t matter. Like it’s nothing. Like–</em> <strong><em>Oh</em></strong>…</p><p>Fingers brushed his bent elbow, nudging him out off his face. “You here with me, Ace?”</p><p>“Y-yes. But please don’t make me come in my pants.”</p><p>Marco’s ribcage shook against his back. “Last time was fun, yoi.”</p><p>Ace groaned. “Yeah, because you’re not the one on laundry duty.”</p><p>He felt again the hot stuttering breath of Marco’s laugh against the shell of his ear. “Alright. Raise those hips then, will you?”</p><p>He complied and, cargo pants mid-thigh, his man’s hand was finally back to his skin. Touching, prodding, rubbing, caressing, brushing…</p><p>“You’re beautiful, you know that?” The praise rolled of his tongue as easily as everything else.</p><p>“No kind words please. No praise. N-No… words. Just silence and hands.”</p><p>“Your wishes are my command,” Marco whispered.</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>“In due time, yoi.” A quick peck to his shoulder. The hint of a smile, curving his mouth, flexing his cheeks, creasing the corner of his eyes. Ace didn’t see it but he knew anyway. They spent nights in the dark learning each other features. Carving them in their memories with their lips and fingertips.</p><p>It went on, soft, slow, casual. Wet sounds, muffled moans, hitching breaths and Marco’s wickedly steady pace. His free hand wandered on Ace’s torso, mapping it out, caressing, kneading. Until his lover’s fingers intertwined with his own and trapped them. Ace gave a squeeze in apology. “Too… sensitive.”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Everywhere. And… inside too.” He turned to lay on his back, reaching for Marco’s face, stretching to kiss him good and slow. “I’m still a bit out of it,” he whispered on his parted lips. “Sorry.”</p><p>Sad but horny. Ace was often self-conscious of his own libido. They had been there already. “It’s okay, love. Just stay here, with me. And feel whatever you need to feel.”</p><p>He nodded and rested his back against Marco’s chest once more. Their joined hands close to his heart. Tears fell silently, pouring the bitterness out until all that was left was something pooling in his belly and Marco’s unwavering presence. His heat encompassing him like water would an island.</p><p>His hips moved on their own and Ace sighed. “It feels good.”</p><p>“Yeah?” The pace increased, ever slightly. Taking him in. <em>All of him</em>.</p><p>“Y-yes.”</p><p>After that, it was loud but muted moans, shaky breaths and soft orders. To keep going, to never never ever stop, to be kind, to play nice, to<em>–</em> <strong><em>Oh.</em></strong> Minutes felt like hours. Marco was sly like that. The good finally outweighed the bad and Ace orgasmed, body rigid for a handful of seconds before turning completely lax with a shaky exhale.</p><p>They stayed entangled for a while before Marco got out of bed and to the bathroom. Ace kissed his man’s knuckles before letting him go and wished he had the drive to take care of him now, but he couldn’t.</p><p>Marco came back and let Ace towel himself before squatting to be at his eye’s level.</p><p>“I love you.” <em>I am here. Not because I need to but because I want to. You’ve already given me more than I ever expected or asked for.</em></p><p>“I love you too, Marco.” <em>You mean so much to me. You’re my rock, my lighthouse in the storm. Calm and patient. I want you by my side, always.</em></p><p>The radiant smile was here again, in plain sight now, bathing him in light, before lips reached for his own. They cuddled again, facing each other this time, willingly losing track of time. Until Ace’s stomach rumbled and Marco’s chuckle echoed, lips pressed against his forehead.</p><p>“I’m hungry,” was all Ace said before kissing Marco’s collarbone and getting out of bed.</p><p>“No shit!”</p><p>“I bought pizza on the way here… Sanji says hi. Oh, Haruta too!” The oven started to purr in the distance.</p><p>“Let me guess… All Blue?”</p><p>“Damn right!” Ace’s grin was excessively smug when he leaned against the kitchen’s doorframe to look at him.</p><p>Marco groaned, getting out of bed in turn.</p><p>“Don’t sulk, I’ll open canned pineapple. Just for you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't explain.<br/>I was watching the Valentine's Day episode of 9-1-1 and the ending song played (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik_BQYbbZ5U">Heartbeats by José González</a>) and I thought about 'Choices' again.<br/>I had the first part written (up to Ace reaching the parking lot), for more than a year I think. Sleeping in my nursery file. The initial idea came from an event on FF.net, Consent Fair or something. At the time I thought about asexual visibility and came with this idea of Ace having a breakdown and seeking comfort. I left it that, missed the deadline for the event and now here I am. I've spent the whole afternoon and evening finishing it, listening to the song non-stop. It strayed from what I first intended but I even have an idea for a second part!</p><p>It's insane. It never happened to me like that before. But it was cool. And I hope you enjoyed.<br/>I am so soft for Marco and Ace like that... I think it showed ah. </p><p>Now I'll click the post button and disappear from the face of the Earth, until my self-consciousness subsides.<br/>But please, if you want to, leave some feedback. I'll cherish it as much as the two lovebirds cherish each other. And that's no small thing. :')</p><p>Take care,<br/>Lily.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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